My Dear Friend’s Wedding

We love because he first loved us – 1 John 4:19

Attending one of my dearest friend’s wedding has triggered a reassessment of how I currently live my life and plan to live my life.

This marks the first wedding where I have been so closely involved (I was a bridesmaid!) but even if I was simply attending, it would’ve still triggered the same result.

I have been processing my friend’s toast to me for several days now due to the fact that is is closely relevant to why I am reassessing my life. Somehow, we have made our friendship last even though we lead very opposite lifestyles. Ultimately, we bond because we have an understanding and respect for each others’ differences but also share similar views in certain values and passion (the fact that her wedding and bridal shower are exactly as imagined in my own dream)

From my perspective, I feel that our friendship actually grew stronger after we did not hang out as much and started pursuing different interests. We are the type of friends who know we will be there for each other when we need but outside of that, we lead a very efficient and busy lifestyle.

If I recall correctly, at the same time we drifted into different paths was also the same time my friend began to spend more time at Church and grow her identity towards Christianity.

I think it was the Christian oriented wedding that really triggered my curiosity and need to reassess my life. I was so intrigued and inspired by the Christian perspective because everything is lived based on their worship towards God. This is where my internal conflict begins:

  • I share and admire so many of the same values this group honours such as commitment, faith, love, etc. yet my inner struggle comes from the fact that my need to live by these values is based on myself intrinsically and not God. It makes me wonder why regular people don’t intrinsically feel the need to live by these values? Do people at Church already intrinsically believe in these values but their belief in God unites them and strengthens these values even more? Or is God the main motivator for them to live by these values?
  • I admired how united my friend’s Church was: the teamwork and willingness to help and actually achieve everything whole-heartedly. Would regular people share the same effort and willingness?
  • My life is in check because I’ve met a lot of people in my life that are regular humans whom I really want to ask those questions above. Why do you break those values? Since this is a wedding, I am the most curious to find out from every single guy in my past on their opinion in this topic. Since my friend and her husband are both Christians, they will always return to the fact that God will be there to guide, sustain, and keep their marriage strong. On the other hand, for regular humans, God is not a motivation but their feelings and incentives/rewards are what drives them to action.

Is this why I have such a diverse range of friends? All my friends are all so different when brought together but I connect with each of them on a different level. This reflection drives me nuts because I start relating to it on an even broader level: look how diverse my career resume is.

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