A little bit of my own brain and a little bit of my grandpa’s spirits mixed into a whole lot of reassurance that everything is going to be okay.
Same context as the last two dreams:
- stressed out/concerned mood
- near time of the month
However, this time the dream was almost a nightmare and not as vivid…
For the past week, I’ve been ruminating about men and relationships. Upon going to bed last night, I over heard my mom ranting about my dad again to her friend on the phone. She still hasn’t let go since their divorce in 2003 regardless of the denial she claims that she is so happy to be alone and done with him. Hypocrite. I messaged my confidante and shared my usual fear of ending up just like my mother: depressed and in denial.
At 4:30 AM, I woke up breathing heavier than usual because I just had a nightmare of my grandpa chasing me with arrows trying to shoot me. I had a hard time putting it into context like my other visitation dreams because this one was freaky AF and I woke up in the middle of the night. Here are the series of events in my dream:
- Grandpa tries to shoot a bunch of people with arrows and I helped them escape
- I couldn’t find my backpack to pack my belongings – why was I packing?
- My mom’s sister told me to just let grandpa release his anger
- This all takes place in my own house
- Grandpa is chasing me around the house trying to shoot me and I managed to dodge every single one
- Finally I see him standing behind the main entrance at a glass window (that we don’t have) watching me escape
- I wake up
- I start messaging my ex and we brainstorm and connect the dots but only I truly know from within what the message is
- I asked if my sister ever gets dreams from our grandpa – none of my sisters or my mom does
- My mom is apparently awake (*surprise) and I told her I just received a visitation dream from her dad
- First words out of her mouth are: “Grandpa was depressed because he loved grandma”
- Epiphany, puzzle solved, context realized
Grandpa is the cupid in this dream, trying to shoot me with the arrow but I clearly didn’t get hit. He was sharing two messages:
- reassurance that you won’t be like mom or me – unrequited love; the arrow never shot you with our curse
- a little punishment for your rumination on people not worth your energy and keeping you back from moving on – wake up and don’t stumble on something that is behind you
Sounds insane and superstitious but I believe it and even if it may be my own brain working by itself, it does a good job creating resilience and reassurance.